Who Is this God Fellow And Why Does He Want my Soul So Bad?

That doesn't seem like it would be the hardest question to answer right? After all we are Christians, we go to his house every time the doors are open (many times its us who opens the doors), we read the Bible more than the average Joe end can tell you any story in the book. We know exactly what's going to happen at the end of the world since we've read every Left Behind book from rapture to Armageddon, and we can tell you every cheesy line of faith expression we have ever heard because they are printed on a large majority of our T-shirts. That being said who is God? Morgan Freeman? Is He some cosmic, bearded mastermind who sits in heaven surrounded by chubby, naked angels who look like Gerber babies throwing lightning bolts at his "children"? I am fairly certain that anyone raised in church could respond to this question with a well rehearsed answer that no one really understands but has been spoken in churches everywhere such as "The Father of the Universe," or "The Creator of heaven and Earth." It literally astounds me that so many of us claim to follow a God whom we never take the time to meet. Of course I don't think we can ever fully figure God out, seeing as how a God who can be comprehended is no God at all, but I believe it well worth the effort.
Perhaps you have been wondering who God is. You may have chosen to embark on this lifelong quest for the pursuit of the life-fulfilling God you have heard about. You possibly could have known that you are called, by an unknown someone, to a greatness beyond that of anything you have ever seen or heard from the world around you, you would of course be right. Upon reading this, one in this situation would most likely wish that I would just make absolute haste in getting to the point, here being the answer to the above stated question. Don't bother, you won't be satisfied and more likely than not you will reach the conclusion with more thought provoking questions than thought fulfilling answers. Here my purpose is to let you know what it is you need to learn.
The reason for this is simple, being that my perfect explanation for this God I claim to follow would fail miserably in the achievement of your full comprehension of God. I could compose an endless piece of literature that accurately presents to you the God I have personally come to know and yet fall very short of a complete definition of who God is. I can only proclaim the God I have so gradually been introduced to that currently resides in me. I am sure the God in you is quite different. Do not think that I am speaking as one who claims there is no singular God, but only the spirit of people manifesting itself how ever it pleases or some other crap like that. Those who say there is no absolute truth are merely denying the existence of truth, thus enabling the belief in whatever one fancies considering nothing is true anyway. God is, always has been, and will always be God despite whatever I choose to believe him as. My personal preference of who I believe God is does not in any way affect who God actually is. I only mean that different people know different aspects of God according to how he has revealed himself, which of course is our only reliable source of His identity. Search, Find. God is only a complete mystery to those who dont want to know Him.