Tuesday, April 20, 2010

To the Girl Who Carved HATE into her arm

To the girl who carved HATE into her arm,

I wasn’t being nosy I swear but I saw it anyway. I was standing behind you in the lunch line when my eyes caught sight of your left arm where you had carved the word HATE into yourself in big capital letters. I noticed the other scars there too.
This wasn’t a new scar, and I could tell you had done it a long time ago and judging by your uncovered arms I assume you aren’t ashamed of it.
I wanted to say something, anything but no words could follow the pain that welled up in my gut. I saw you yesterday and still am unable to get you out of my head, out of my heart. I cannot even comprehend the pain you have endured, and are still enduring, to cause you to deface yourself like you have done.
You see, I don’t know you but I love you. This is an odd feeling for me; my heart breaking for someone I have never met, but know that what I feel for you is nothing compared to what the God who created you feels for you. Oh if you only knew how much He loves you!
Believe me, I am not wishing you would “convert to Christianity” so that you can vote the same way I do, fill another seat at my church or so that I can feel good about myself knowing I added to our numbers. I just want you to be free of the pain that is enslaving you. I want you to know when the sun goes down and you are lying awake on your tear-stained pillow that you are not alone in this big dark world. I want you to know you are loved. I want your scars to be healed and your very soul put back together.
I have no idea what you have gone through but my God knows. He knows because all of it happened to Him too. 2,000 years before you carved “HATE” into your arm my God carved “HATE,” “ANGER,” “PAIN,” “ABUSE,” “DISEASE,” “ABANDONMENT,” “GUILT,” “LONELINESS,” “DEPRESSION,” “REJECTION” and “DEATH” into the sides of His Son with a bloody whip. He took all the pain that you would ever go through when He died like a criminal on a cross made of wood. Now He is just waiting for you to ask Him to take it all away. He really wants to.
Now I don’t know how you feel about God; you probably blame Him for everything that has gone wrong in your life. You probably carved HATE into your arm because that is the only feeling you have towards God and all the people you once loved who repaid you with just more pain. I am sure you find it hard to believe anyone who tells you a loving God would torture His children.
There is no way to account for the things that have been done to you, and I know that it may be near impossible to see, but God really does love you and has a purpose for you, despite what you have been through. When He designed you, He did it because He had been dreaming about all the things He wanted bless you with. He wants you to know Him like He knows you. He wants you to become who you were created to be. The God who holds the universe in the folds of His hand wants desperately to wrap you in His arms. He even died so that He could have you.
I don’t know what you think of people who call themselves “Christians,” but it probably is something along the lines of crazy hypocritical people who are stuck in our ways and want to send the whole world to Hell right after we empty everyone’s wallets. Sadly, you would be right in thinking this about a lot of Christians. This isn’t how it is supposed to be, or how it is for most of us. We are simply those who have found the truth. Most of us were at one time wandering around in darkness and despair plotting our own plan to kill God when He found us and gave us real life, not just thinking and breathing but actually living the way we were intended to live. I found the meaning of everything and the secret of happiness I want you to know it.
The scars on your arm may never go away, but the scars on your heart can disappear immediately if you want them to. I may never see you again and get a chance to tell you all this, all that my heart has been bursting with but I pray someone gets to you before it is too late. There are others though, so many people who are dying everyday inside. Some are not as bold as to carve their feelings into their flesh and blood as you have though, but that doesn’t make them any harder to find.
I sincerely hope that I will see you again in heaven. May God erase the HATE on your arm and write LOVE on your heart in it’s place.

As sincerely as humanly possible,
Kyle

2 comments:

  1. perhaps the most powerful words you have ever written. This should be copied for every person to read!

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  2. Kyle, I absolutely LOVE this post. You are so awesome and this hit home with me.

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