Saints and sinners, lend me your ears 1
And I will spill out to you all of my greatest fears.
We chose knowledge in the garden, and do I regret it,
Have we the boldness to actually beget it?
We could spend a whole day discussing the world
I could impress you with anything (or so I think)
But would it matter much?
We could talk Haggai, Whitman, McJagger or Polluck 2
Biblically, linguistically, musically, artistically and your jaw just might drop
Te omni credant quod linguam mortuum dictas 3
You would say “oh but you are so young
But you speak as though your walk has long begun”
But what do I gain by your accolades?
Nothing, I think, yet these I pursue.
I feel I am so well rounded I cannot walk a straight line.
The world, for sure, thinks I have it all together
If this is true I would hate to see the mess they’ve got.
For everyone knows the mannequin on display is always the best dressed.
“I am young in years
And you are old
That is why I was fearful,
Not daring to tell you what I know.
I thought ‘Age should speak;
Advanced years should teach wisdom,’
But it is the Spirit in a man, the breath of the Almighty that gives him understanding” 4
Sometimes it is easier to simply not understand
I thought the pursuit of wisdom and knowledge the noblest
But it is just like the rest
All pursuits will leave one fulfilled then lacking instead,
And all pursuits but one fail to end well,
For the pursuit of God is the only worth its salt
And see here, my predicament? If I relate to Solomon now
What more is there to learn? 5
Today I am feeling a little poetic
Tomorrow perhaps a little athletic but if I can help it, never pathetic.
The bottom line is I am not happy looking down at the world through my microscope
“Wisdom beyond my years” is not as fortunate as you would presume
For some time I have been fixated on legacy
Screaming out to the world “Remember Me Remember Me”
But footprints are made by people who go places
Not by those stomping their feet in frustration
I do not believe I have ever gone anywhere as matter of fact,
Screaming out to the world “Remember Me Remember Me”
Why, I am so full of direction I do not know where I am going.
Always desiring greatness, of course
Thinking it equated happiness, of course.
Oh but the great are not great until they are dead and I cannot wait that long
“This apple tastes so good; I do think I will take another bite”
Is it wrong that happiness is my only motive?
What then should be my motive for finding the right motive?
Is compassion still itself when my happiness depends on it?
In our talk, your mind I’d be forever psychoanalyzing
And as for me I am never realizing what it is I myself am actually thinking.
I am Tiresias, 6 seer of the worlds’ problems yet unable to see himself
Thoreau taught us to live deliberately 7
But the best things I have ever done have happened accidentally.
(Though to no credit of my own)
“And would it have been worth it all”
Says Eliot
“To have squeezed the universe into a ball?” 8
Can a philosophy solve it at all?
Surely man you do not think that poking and prodding at the best possible way to live life is the best way to actually live it
Eat and Drink and be all the Merrier 5
“But the second bite does not taste so sweet
Am I lazy, unfaithful or disillusioned if I find something else to eat?”
Does passion have to be the force behind every action?
Is it ok that sometimes the mundane, ordinary, routine, everyday
Is the first to wipe the sleep from my eyes?
Heart stings on my guitar strings; do I want what the truth brings?
Yes, yes with all that I am, yes
Veritas! Veritas! Vivere volunto! 9
Whoever said ignorance is bliss surely must not have been happy with truth
He did not know; he does not know
He must not have heard that the truth will set him free,
But is a bird unknowing of its cage actually free?
Maybe, maybe
Dum spiro, spero;10 but the way is so so narrow
And how I fear the un-extraordinary
And don’t you?
Is that why you refuse to think, to believe, to love?
The chance that the world were as miserable as you believe haunts me
And so, I fear the un-extraordinary, the un-great, the ordinary
And now, how can I close?
Have I said in poem what I could not in prose?
Dilapidated, frustrated, the solution: me prostrated
The more I learn, the more I yearn
For more for me to learn.
Knowledge stings like wasp when; at times it has an ugly head
But alas! Rejoice, for after sting, it’s dead, it’s dead!
Knowledge and wisdom have torn me apart
But I remain that I would not have chose a different path
Because they are what make me unlike Lewis’ toy soldiers 11
Thinking, breathing, hurting, loving
And now what?
Footnotes:
1-taken from Marc Antony’s speech at Caesar’s funeral in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar
2- Haggai was a minor prophet of the Old Testament who proclaimed the rebuilding of the Temple to the Jews, Walt Whitman was a 20th century American poet famous for the series of poems “Song of Myself,” McJagger is the lead singer of the Rolling Stones and famous for singing “I Can’t get no satisfaction,” Jackson Polluck was an American pop artist famous for his technique of “Splatter Paint,” making beautiful paintings from the mere pouring of paint in a seemingly chaotic way.
3-Latin for: They all believe you because you speak a dead language
4- taken from Job 32 (NIV) spoken by Elihu, a young man displeased with the way Job was blaming God and refusing to consider that he was not the most righteous thing on the planet. After this God gives a very lengthy rebuke against Job, confirming Elihu’s speech
5- The whole book of Ecclesiastes
6- Blind prophet in the Greek tragedies of Sophocles regarding Oedipus (Oedipus Rex, Oedipus at Colossus and Antigone)
7- Taken from Walden by Henry David Thoreau
8- “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” by T.S. Eliot
9- Latin for: Truth! Truth! I wish to live!
10- Latin for: While I breathe, I hope taken from a quote by Seneca
11- C.S. Lewis discusses the realities of Free Will in his book Mere Christianity using the illustration of toy soldiers
