Let me be frank, or somebody else

Sometimes it is all about me. There are many time when the world does, in fact, revolve around me.
To be honest, most of the time I just want to better myself. I want to be the next C.S. Lewis, the next Billy Graham, the next spiritual giant. Unfortunately this becomes my motive for growing closer to God. I get in these places where I worship what God has promised me and not Him. I worship His presents not His presence. I forget that He is my destination, not my means of transportation.
I tell God that I will go anywhere and do anything for Him, but secretly I just want a good story to impress people. I want people to compliment me and talk about how much I inspired them with my words of brilliance. My pride is a drug and I seem to be a junkie.
It just goes to show that doing all the right things for the wrong reasons will fail. I have to ask myself if no one recognized how Christian I was, if no one read this stupid blog, or if I never was given the opportunity to speak in front of an audience; would I still be in love with my Creator? If God never gave me anything else, what He has done in my life already and in the history of this planet would be enough to deserve more than what a million “me”s could give Him. It can’t be about what I get in return. My relationship to the God of the universe should be more than me having a good reputation.
A thought came into my head awhile ago that my pride can’t handle the pulpit I was called to. Imagine if God looked down and decided to hold back on what He had promised and created you for because he knew that if you had it you would just use it to flatter yourself.
I hate it when God has to put me in my place.
I have had to ask for forgiveness because I was using the opportunities God has given me for ministry to make myself feel good. Even in asking forgiveness I have to question my motives.
Proverbs 27: 21 says “The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but a man is tested by the praise he receives.”
I failed the test. It became all about me.
You see, it isn’t my name that makes demons tremble. It isn’t my name that when called on can move mountains. It isn’t my name that brings life to the world and healing to the broken.
At the end of the day knowing me won’t change your life. Kyle Semple is awkward, insecure, and over cynical. Kyle Semple thinks way too highly of himself. Kyle Semple just recycles old jokes pretends he made them up himself. Kyle Semple is still speaking in third person even though he should have stopped awhile ago.
It is Jesus Christ who is worth following.
Greater is He that is in me than he who is just me.