Early Morning Revelations and Lost Extremities

I woke up this morning at 4:30, only to discover that my left arm was missing. This really confused me, because I could have sworn it was there when I went to bed. Nature called and I was ready to answer and roll out of bed when I tried moving what used to be my arm but now was just dead weight. I couldn’t feel anything there but I heard it hit the ground after I picked it up.
You see I am 6’3 and have a lot of extra limb hanging around, especially on a twin bed where my arms and legs are forced to just flail about haphazardly until they find a place where they fit. Apparently my left arm had flailed, fallen, and had gotten comfortable. It got so comfortable that I couldn’t feel it anymore.
We all know the feeling, or lack thereof, of body parts “falling asleep.” If you know me, you know that I that I find myself quite comical most of the time. I always jokingly complain that if a body part falls asleep that it will, consequently, be up all night. Ironically, this one woke me up and has kept me up since.
When I discovered the cause for my absent extremity, I proceeded to move what should have been my arm in various awkward positions to try and gain feeling back. I was intentional in being uncomfortable, so that I could feel again.
Today I head back to Macon, GA to meet up with my team. I have been home for exactly two weeks going through the roughest season my family has ever gone through. I have been hurt, so I decided to stop feeling. I am my left arm.
We all do this. Life gets hard, something happens and we fall of the bed. Instead of feeling pain or grief, we simply decide to not feel anything at all. We put ourselves on auto pilot to just make it through and we sacrifice the joy and contentment that God has to offer us.
This morning I am deciding to shake it out; even if it means that I have to put myself into awkward, uncomfortable places . I have to get life flowing through me again because the point isn’t how I feel about God but that I can’t feel anything without Him. He is the source of my joy, my sorrow, my grief, and my peace. Feelings make us human, and God gives us feelings, because He made us to be human.
I am deciding today to re-join the body of Christ and let His life flow through me again, even if it hurts.