The Sigh

The past few weeks have provided me with a wide variety of highly anticipated emotions.

I will be honest and say that about 97% of those emotions were somehow Star Wars related.

But there was one emotion, or state of being really, that really stuck out to me and honestly I did not realize how long I had been waiting for it until it arrived.

This emotional state could only be described as The Sigh. Not a sigh of exhaustion or being overwhelmed but an actual sigh of satisfaction. It is the rare feeling you get when the to-do list is actually done and you can finally just sit down and relax.

Giraffe Syndrome

One of the most annoying things about my entire life is that I share so much in common with your average giraffe.

Yes, giraffe.

The safari animal with the long neck and spots. Also known as "G-Raff" on the streets. Well, my streets at least. Not that I have ever met an urbanized giraffe just chillin outside but if I ever do that is what I would call it. I know you may or may not think about these forgotten creatures of Africa very much throughout your day but they are always on my mind. 

Why I Have Already Given up on a Few Resolutions for Next Year

I am not a normal person, but I think that has been well established.

While this is clearly evidenced by my love of Eighties Christian Hair Metal and fascination with funny sounding outdated words it has been made very clear by a recent discovery, or rather a recent admission of what I probably always knew.

I hate vacation time.

That felt pretty un-American just typing that out. This must be how Communists feel on a daily basis.

Peace Chucks

A hipster is someone who thinks that they were cool before being cool was cool. I was never cool, so that does not include me.

 I realized a long time ago that the cooler you are today the funnier your old pictures will be to your kids so I have made it a life goal to wear clothes that my future children will not make fun of. I stick with jeans, a T-shirt, and the single pair of tennis shoes that have been around for generations that I am certain will still be in style whenever Jesus comes back- the one and only, Chuck Taylor All-Star High-Top Converse. These shoes were created in the 1920’s as a basketball shoe endorsed by the professional player of which they are named. Thankfully, basketball shoes have improved in technology over the years, but this pair of shoes has outlasted every other shoe craze and has been worn consistently for close to a century.